"Reaching Out Child Abuse Monument"
Sculptor: Michael C. Irving, Ph.D.

A CHILD

There's a child crying in her sleep
in the darkness she'll sit and weep
We should all look out for her
she's so frightened and unsure
If she'll reach her hand to us
and to help you know we must
For there in a corner sits a frightened child
So your voice must be gentle very mild
Take her from her hiding place
where she's sealed inside a case
Hold her close don't let her go
that she's loved let her know.
You will ask who the child may be
the child is you, the child is me.

Babette Forget-Healy
written at age 12

This Square is Dedicated
to Helen and Perry Dunlap
for Their Heroism
in Taking a Stand
to Create a Safer World
for Children.
John

"Stand up for wehat is right...
Even if you're standing alone."
Helen Dunlop

Stop Abuse.
Know that my
hands/mind/body
and spirit will do all
in this world to protect children.
You are loved.
Perry Dunlop

QUESTIONS

Have you even been happy?
Have you ever thought that you were important?
Have you ever had a child?
Have you ever had a child tell you that they love you?
Have you ever had someone look up to you?
Has anyone around you died and you didn’t know what to do so you just cried because you thought that was the right thing to do?
Do you know what love is?
Have you ever been in love?
Or, do you feel that love is just a word people use so they can feel like they belong?
Why I’m asking is because I don’t know myself.

S. (Age 17)

"Child abuse is not confined to any one group or social class; it cuts across all ethnic, religious, social and economic backgrounds." - Health Canada

Everyone has a personal responsibility to protect our children, to uphold their rights -- this will benefit of all members of society.

There is a need to recognize the general complicity of society in the patterns of abusive behaviour that are inherited over generations and through cultural influences.

There is a need to promote the identification and naming of abusive behaviour in the public domain.

There is a fear of labeling. Society must recognize that people are more than their abuse issues. This is important for the abused and the abuser in us because it creates the space for healing.

There is a need for a community driven response to prevent child abuse and to provide support and assistance for survivors of child abuse. Child abuse needs to be recognized as a social problem, not only a private problem. Communities need to take ownership of the issues of child abuse and take responsibility in responding.

The media can play more of a part in making the connection between violence having roots in child abuse.

The public needs to make the connection between abused kids and people in jail, living on the street, dropping out of school, battling repeated illnesses, coping with addictions and acting out violently and aggressively.

We must target strategies that will help all of us develop new patterns of beliefs and behaviours relating to child abuse. Education should inform not only on what is wrong but also "what is healthy."

Needs assessments should look at community resources to help individuals stop child abuse and fill in gaps in services. It is important to have in each community, accessible and coordinated. of resources and services for the treatment of individuals and families. Each community’s response to abuse must be evaluated, and adapted as change occurs.

We need further development of centralized referral sources such as the Advocacy Centre in Guelph and the National Advocacy Centre in the U.S.A.

An important part of prevention is creating public awareness through education, starting with our children.

Additional government funding and educational support are needed to further develop prevention resources.

If you feel frustrated by the plight of abused children, you can make a difference. For example, you could contact your Member of Parliament, lobby for changes to the criminal justice system or write letters to the editors of your local newspapers. Governments should be lobbied to develop policies which address the issues and concerns of child abuse.

Strategic members of the community need to be advocates to bridge gaps by lobbying governments to develop effective policies which address the issues and concerns of child abuse.

There needs to be national and annual conferences on child abuse and neglect.

Would you want to wait 6 months for heart surgery...abused children often wait longer for treatment.

Speak out when you see child abuse happen. Name it, and when you are told to mind your own business, affirm that, "Children are everyone's business."

Discussion - Responding to
Abuse in Our Communities

Each community must take responsibility for abuse, and acknowledge that there are problems. By taking ownership, community driven responses can be developed. Unique, easily accessible resources must be developed, covering the spectrum of services: intervention, treatment, prevention and awareness.

Responsibilities and roles must be identified within each community. The public must be educated to believe that abuse is a social problem, not a private problem. Child abuse must be defined and demystified. Laws must be changed.

The abuser and abused exists in all of us. Our abusive beliefs and patterns are inherited. We need to identify generational abusive patterns. There is also a need to define all abuse, including different definitions of abuse by culture.

As a community responding, we all need to learn new ways to respond, but we cannot help people change patterns until they have empathy.

Survivors must be part of the response within the community. Empathy is developed by being able to recognize body feelings, by role playing the same and different feelings about an incident, and by developing parenting strategies for a safer tomorrow.

It must become mandatory for the system to use resources to change perpetrators’ behaviours, not to just throw them in jail.

Resources are also needed for early intervention. Children do not know what is inappropriate when their home behaviour is dysfunctional. Schools need to educate about child abuse issues, beginning in kindergarten. They need a well-defined sexual harassment policy.

Adolescents make up 30% of perpetrators of sexual abuse. When educating in schools, help numbers must be handed out to all kids. Communities and sub-communities must publish lists of places that survivors can go to access help.

Support and follow up must be in place when children disclose abuse.

As well, we must make it safe to disclose. Survivors need to feel that they will be believed and protected. The police need to become better educated in order to respond more effectively to cases of abuse and sexual abuse.

We also need cooperation amongst agencies in each community to develop a coordinated. approach to helping, including links between the children’s aid and the police.

Issues and Concerns

Poverty creates issues of access to resources, and this is extremely stressful. As well, we need to look at individual versus community responses to abuse. How do we respond to abuse in our community? What does “healthy” look like?

Children must come first. We need to ask questions like “it looks like you’re having a really hard day, is there something I can do to help?” and respond nonjudgementally to the answer. We can offer to help a single parent in our neighbourhood by giving him or her some time out.

The public needs help to know when to report child abuse. They need help to learn where their responsibility lies, as well as education around the signs and symptoms of abuse.

REFERENCES ON HOW TO
RESPOND TO ABUSE
IN YOUR COMMUNITY:

Aims Media. Child Sexual Abuse Prevention: Community Issues. Film. Canada: Distributed by Canadian Learning. 30 min. 1986.

Amer, Elizabeth and Constance Mungall. Yes We Can! How To Organize Citizen Action. Ottawa: Synergistics Consulting, 1988.

----------. Taking Action: Working Together for Positive Change in Your Community. North Vancouver, B.C.: Self Counsel Press, 1992.

Callaghan, Shelley. “1998 CP/RA Symposium: Symposium Notes: Working Together To Make all Recreation Safe.” Parks and Recreation Canada, May-June 1998, vol. 56 no. 2, p. 22.

Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. Easy Targets. Film/TV. Canada: distributed by the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, 47 min. 1994.

Columbia Pictures. The Prince of Tides. Film, directed by Barbara Streisand, written by Pat Conroy and Becky Johnston. USA, English, 132 min.

Engel, Beverly. The Right To Innocence: Healing the Trauma of Childhood Sexual Abuse. Los Angeles: JP Tarcher, New York. Distributed by St. Martin’s Press 1989.

Etzioni, Amitai. The Spirit of Community: Rights, Responsibilities and the Communitarian Agenda. New York: Crown Publishers, 1993.

Gentry, Charles E. Crisis Intervention in Child Abuse and Neglect. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families, National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect. 1994. (Online)

http://www.calib.com/nccanch
/pubs/crisis/index.htm.

Health Services Directorate and Health and Welfare Canada. Child Sexual Abuse: Guidelines for Community Workers: Report of the Federal Working Group. Ottawa: Health and Welfare Canada. 1989.

Hope, Anne and Sally Timmel. Training for Transformation: A Handbook for Community Workers. Gweru: Mambo Press 1984.

Knyeck, Joan Newman. Fighting For Hope: Organizing to Realize Our Dreams. Montreal: Cheektowaga, N.Y.: Black Rose Books, 1990.

Mark Lowrie. Piegan Band, Co-producers. Children of the Eagle. Film, directed by Mark Lowrie, written by Sybille Manneschmidt. Canada: National Film Board, 29 min. 24 sec. 1990.

McKenzie, Bob. “Let’s Make Change: Minor Coaches, Parents Must Be Held Accountable.” Hockey News, June 19, 1998, vol. 51 no. 37, p.3-4.

National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse and Neglect Information. Community Responsibility for Child Protection. National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse and Neglect Information, Washington. (Online) http://www.calib.com/nccanch
/pubs/commresp.htm.

National Film Board. Institute for the Prevention of Child Abuse, TVOntario, Co-producers. Help Me! Faith Leaders Challenging Child Abuse. Film. Canada: Distributed by the National Film Board, 17 min., 1991.

Plant, Christopher M. and Judith Plant. Putting Power In Its Place: Create Community Control. Philadelphia, Pa.: Gabriola Island, B.C.: New Society Publishers, 1992.

Popkin, James. “Natural Born Predators: Frightened Communities are Rising Up Against Sex Offenders.” U.S. News & World Report, September 19 1994, vol. 117 no. 11, p cover, 64-8, 73.

Tayler, Devon and M. Kathereyn Watters. “Who Owns Counselling” A Community Based Answer.” Canadian Woman Studies, Fall 1994, vol. 14 no. 4, p. 108-10.

“Institute for Human Promotion (Nicaragua)” Presbyterian Record, October 1997 vol. 121 no. 9 p. 4 (sup) (English).