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HOW ABUSE IS REMEMBERED AND RECOVERED |
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The recovery of traumatic
memory is often involuntary, complex & fragmented. The remembering often begins
when there is readiness, safety, and the realization that something is very wrong.
The backlash and resistance to traumatic memories is a product
of social and organizational denial. The public's misunderstanding
of traumatic memory adversely affects both survivors and society at large. Denial
of recovered memory by society and perpetrators is extremely painful and destructive
for survivors. It can feel malicious. The distancing and denial superficializes
the teller and the witness. The recovery of traumatic memory
is at times involuntary, complex and fragmented. The mechanics
of the recovery of traumatic memory are readiness, safety, and the realization
that something is very wrong. Memory recovery is not neat
or chronological. Due to amnesia, dissociation, brain development and function
in response to traumatic stress, and time delays, there is often fragmentation
of the memory of traumatic experience. As
we can see from the soldiers' experiences at the Gander tragedy, imagistic memory
can be activated by trauma. The trauma of abuse is not something the mind or body
forgets. If "the Memory" is not stored in the conscious mind, it will
be stored in the unconscious. Sooner or later, that memory will emerge, often
in the form of imagistic memory. When the images from repressed
memories do come spilling out, they are persistent and uniquely compelling. The
same image occurs repeatedly, sometimes three times, sometimes hundreds of times
over years. However many times the same image flashes, it seems to stick in your
mind, as if your psyche has underlined it with invisible ink. |
My innocence, fragile, delicate a seed hidden
away begins unfolding. Kim
During the making of this square
I had a powerful dream:
Beginning at age 5 I began having
nightmares about spiders. They continued all through my life. Always I am being
pursued by very large spiders. They grab a hold of me and wont' let go. I wake
up. This
time in the dream the spider was as large as a horse. I ran down the street trying
to get away and everywhere I ran there was no exit. There was a small group of
us who ran into the town hall.
When we got inside it was announced
that the doors and windows were locked and there would be not heat and no water.
When I heard that I knew something was wrong. Then
I noticed that the others were sitting down in a circle of chairs. So I sat too.
I looked around and noticed that their hands were grabbing their skin in the centre
of their chests and pulling open their chests, opening their bodies and out of
them were emerging human sized spiders.
I knew that was it, I was surrounded
and then I looked down and noticed that I was doing the same thing. I was becoming
a spider. I became my fear. The spider has been my teacher.
That dream was the end of me being a victim. I am the
dark and the light. I am in the web of life. It was very powerful and I am grateful
for the opportunity to create the spider, and in the creating of it.
 I
bet he doesn't remember what I did to him! I bet he thinks I don't remember what
he did to me! Julie
Atwood Archive

EYES
SHUT TIGHT Month of May sees child's play of
finger puppets, on drifting moon beams, through gauzey curtains, on
robin's egg and violet walls. Lilac scent on spring
time breezes, waft through screens, and urge an innocent’s
peaceful sleep. Child heart beats, Thoughts are sweet. Brothers,
sister, all tucked in, with Mama's cosy touch and flannel sheets. Hush,
quiet now, it's school tomorrow. Black Knight's serpent
engine purring, glaring headlights flash ignite the room; Creaking
metal door, bangs the nodding night. In wide eyed dread,
lids clamp shut, Fists clench tight, Catatonic, toe to frightened
head. Dear God, say he's had a few The drink
will make him mellow; He'll go to bed that way. Kitchen
door slams with force, so brutal, house and all that's in it,
quakes. Dervish Daddy, breaking loose, Crashing, smashing
rampage, Devils' wicked, whirling, wacking. Eyes shut
tight Pretend slumber, on reverse moon beams, soaring skyward, to
drowse on stars lofty pillows, in celestial silence. Star's
fire consume fear to ash of nothingness. Vera 
SHATTERED
YOUTH Depression takes over and so I search my soul and my
inner self, Hoping to discover some explanation of a senseless situation. I
look to the mirror What do I see? A frightened child, Please don’t
let it be me. In the deepest regions of my confused and cluttered mind,
Are shards of what seem to be a nightmare of the worst kind. I
look to the mirror What do I see? A frightened child, Please don’t
let it be me. For years I avoided this reflection because
of its unpleasantness swiftly running endlessly away from the reality of its
existence. I look to the mirror What do I see? A frightened
child, Please don’t let it be me. A safe life, for
this young soul, would require a guard A rock, a hammer, a fist, thrusting
forward Too hard, too hurtful, too inexplicably wild, To obliterate the
reflection of this child. And so, I think, I am drawn to a conclusion,
For this child, there will be no more confusion. Suddenly,
the pieces crash to the floor The child runs frantically to get out the door.
She searches for the exit and her blood runs cold As she realizes that it
is surrounded by the mold Of the mirror that she shattered to bits that day;
Destroyed is the escape route to a safe place to play. Tana 
Come
Home Little child, frightened Self you were forced to
know the truth; adult knowledge thrust upon you, drowned in a flood of
terror and despair My shattered heart. Little child, helpless
Self trapped in ways you couldn’t explain by things you didn’t
understand; hopeless fog and blinding depression, No control. Little
girl, lost Self with the grief of a woman but the soul of a child. You
long for your baby and I long for mine. Little child,
murdered Self lifeless and empty I remember, now, what happened. Let
me take what is unbearable, let me feel the anguish with you. I grew up for
us both. I’m here now, I’ve come back for you as I promised I
would. Give your burden to me Precious child, treasured Self. I know
what to do now; I know how to help. Jacquelyn

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Discussion - How Abuse is Recovered and Remembered Issues
and Concerns The major issues and concerns about the ways that abuse
is recovered and remembered are: - The stereotyping of
perpetrators.
- The epidemic of child abuse.
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Who would want the memories of child abuse to be remembered? There is no personal
gain involved.
- False Memory Syndrome Denial Disorder
Syndrome.
Other issues and concerns include the power
which recovered abuse offers the perpetrator, and the risks for the survivor in
confirming the abuse and/or confronting the perpetrator. Such memories bring fear
to a lot of people in the survivors life. They may cause loss of family,
and for many, the cost of these memories is very high. |
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Losses Losses to
the survivor who recovered and remembers abuse may include the loss of family,
friends, spouse, part of self, and the loss of financial security. It may also
result in the perpetration of abuse, of poor health and illness, or addictions
to food, alcohol, drugs or other substances or activities. Stress-related
health problems such as migraines, cancer, digestive problems, depression of the
immune system and impaired cognitive functions are often related to the recovery
of memories of abuse. In addition, somatic feelings may result in seizures, and
survivors may experience suicidal feelings, a need for self-mutilation or other
self-destructive urges. |
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False Memory Syndrome
Denial Disorder Syndrome The publics misunderstanding of traumatic
memory and an individuals ability to recover memory adversely affects both
survivors and society at large. People often dont understand the nature
of trauma. Traumatized individuals often experience a separation of feelings and
memories. The recovery of their memories is usually non-chronological. Fragmentation
of the memory experience may also occur. Post-traumatic stress disorder is known
and has been well documented. The repression of memories
is a mechanism of survival. This is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation.
Often there is an underestimation of the terror involved, the feeling of death.
There are explicit and implicit memories. They are not neat and pretty or chronological.
For the survivor, seeing is believing. However, he or she may experience amnesia
or gaps in memory. It is difficult to accept that these memories are real. Disassociative
identity disorder may occur. The mechanisms of recovery involve
physical and emotional depletion; a feeling of no longer being able to cope, combined
with a sense of readiness, distance from the perpetrator, a feeling of safety
and a recognition of destructive direction. Survivors often
experience a backlash or resistance to their memories. They may experience social
denial and disbelief. They may experience organized denial, combined with threats
of repercussions. Victim blaming and economic loss may result. The concerns may
be about protection of the perpetrator, rather than of the survivor. The issue
may be further complicated by stereotypes of perpetrators. Both
the public and many professionals misunderstand trauma and how widespread this
issue is. They are not aware of the rates of incidence for post-traumatic stress
syndrome or disassociative identity disorder. Also important to understand is
that there is a difference between childrens and adults experience. Misunderstandings
about denial are also widespread. The families and friends of survivors are often
unprepared to deal with the issues of their abuse. The memories are too painful,
crashing their sense of reality. False memory syndrome is a common vehicle of
denial. Planted memories, hypnosis, medication, regression, child-like memories
are all used to authenticate proof of false memory syndrome. This
reinforces blaming of the victim, planting the seeds of self doubt. Like
going up a down escalator. |
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How Abuse is Remembered and Recovered:
Abuse can be remembered and recovered as body memories, flashbacks,
disassociation, or in response to triggers. The memories themselves may be disjointed,
fragmented, unpredictable and may by inconsistent. They may appear in dreams.
They may be triggered by sensory stimuli (smells, sounds, touch, taste, sights),
recurring events, specific locations or environments, anger, alcohol, food, children
or family interactions, clothing, colours, objects of abuse, parties, groups of
people or other stimuli. They may occur in therapy or as a result of a group process
or support group. The survivor will usually react with denial, disbelief and doubt. |
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REFERENCES
ON HOW ABUSE IS REMEMBERED AND RECOVERED: Bayin, Anne. Falsely
Accused: False Memory Syndrome is Wrecking Families and Destroying the Credibility
of Genuine Sexual-Abuse Victims. Homemakers Magazine, September 1993,
vol. 28 no. 6, p. 44-6, 48+. Bower, Bruce. Sex abuse: Direct
Approach May Aid Recall. Science News (US), October 19, 1991, vol. 140 no.
16, p. 245. -----------. Sudden Recall: Adult Memories
of Child Abuse Spark a Heated Debate pt.1. Science News (US), September
18, 1993, vol. 144 no. 12, p. cover, 184-6. Brown, Laura.
Subversive Dialogues. New York, N.Y.: Basic Books, 1994. Eigenkind,
Heidi. Bearing Witness: A Questioning of the Politics of Memory. Canadian
Woman Studies, Fall 1991, vol. 12 no. 1, p. 21-4. Fraser,
Sylvia. Abuse Wars: Whose Memory Matters? Betrayal Trauma: The Logic Of
Forgetting Childhood Abuse. Globe and Mail, January 25, 1997 pD14 (English). Herman,
Judith Lewis. Trauma and Recovery. New York, N.Y.: Basic Books, 1992. xi 276 p. Kandel,
Minouche and Eric R. Kandel. Flights of Memory: Can Memories of Long-Ago
Abuses Be Lost? Once Lost, Can They Be Found Again? Discover, May 1994,
vol. 15, no. 5, p. 32, 34-8. Martin, Sandra. You Must
Remember This: -- War Raging Around Recovered Memories. Chatelaine (Eng),
September 1997, vol. 70 no. 9 p.40-1, 43+ (English). Moore,
Tom. Angels Crying: A True Story of Secrecy and Tragedy. Nimbus Publishing Ltd.
1995. Penfold, P. Susan. Repressed Memory Controversy:
Is There Middle Ground? Canadian Medical Association Journal, September 15 1996,
vol. 155 no. 6, p. 647-53. Terr, Lenore. Unchained Memories:
True Stories of Traumatic Memories, Lost and Found. New York, N.Y.: Basic Books,
1994. Woodward, Kenneth L. Was It Real Or Memories?
The Collapse of Charges Against A Cardinal Raises Questions About Assisted
Claims of Sexual Abuse. Newsweek, March 14, 1994, vol. 123 no. 11, p. 54-5. |
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We have to be careful how we express our feelings,
because sometimes it doesn't turn out how we wanted it to. Adili

STOP THE ABUSE. Children have a voice and they
need to be heard. and loved for who they are.

Care, Love, Happy, Respect. I never abuse a child
because it's not write. Ashley, age 8

You should be kind to your child.

We R the treasuares of the earth, guard us and
protect, love us and care. So Dat when we grow up we will take care
of U back. Love your kids. Phyllis, age 17

Love caring and nice is how you should treat your
kids. Sammy 
Ethan, 2 years old


They are only children. Love them all! Laura

While we may not know every child... We must know
the importance of each childhood. Carol

Be patient with kids. Stephen 19
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