I Remember

I died as I was born.
I saw the light,
Quickly my soul was torn.
Softly in the night,
Pain became my friend.
Sadness and devastation my end.
Clutching at beauty of rock and tree,
To ease the cold within.
Searching for the light,
Finding the fire.
Burned again and again.
Fireflies, flowers, snakes and rats,
Never will it end.

I remember when butterflies were free,
When sap ran sweetly from the tree,
I held my puppy close to me, for comfort.

I remember when blood ran from my mouth
Like ice cream dripping
From a cone on a hazy afternoon.

I remember riding my horse in the shade of the wood
Picnic lunches all alone
My fantasy land of Robin Hood
Castles and guard we all stood.

I remember people all dressed in black
Incense burning
I want to turn back.

I remember the knives,
The will of the group
The chanting, the dancing,
This was no fun group.

I remember the sounds, of screams in the dark
Of death and destruction
On a Saturday night.

I remember crucifixions

In God’s Holy name
Face up on the floor
Nailed in my pain.

Rebecca Martin