Faceless People

Faceless people, frightening figures, ghostlike creatures will remain,
In the deepest, darkest, innermost regions of my brain.
In vain, I’ve tried to eradicate them,
But they stubbornly continue to be a problem.

Up and awake is the only known way
To keep them from bothering me, so the entire night becomes day.
How long will this last? How long can I fight?
I’m tiring rapidly and the end is not in sight!

Panicking, panicking, panicking greatly
Is what I’ve been doing an immense deal of lately.
I’m beginning to wonder if ever an end there will be
These nightmares plague me constantly, will I ever be free?

Exhaustion becomes paramount, insipidly doubt is able to creep
Right into my soul, so I dare not sleep!
I don’t even care who they are anymore
I can’t imagine it being worse than what I’ve remembered before!

There’s no one I entirely trust, there’s nowhere to go
It’s as if I’m trapped in some crazy freak show.
I no longer care to decipher what this is about
All I want is a license to Get The Hell Out.

Entangled and cornered by family and friends
Who continue to tell me that life is worth living.
I must ask the questions, “Worth living for who?”
It certainly isn’t for me, perhaps I can do it for you.

My son and my daughter and my husband as well
Deserve better than me and my moods from this agonizing hell.
I’ve tried and I’ve tried to get out of this mess
I’m exceedingly tired of trying, death is tempting, I confess.

But this, I am told, cannot be a choice
My family is important and must have a voice.
It is a difficult task to be in this place of grieving
However, it is incredibly selfish to even think of leaving.

Of this, I keep reminding myself for all,
To stay focussed on family, both adult and the small.
I must endeavour to continue to cope;
Perhaps down the road, for me, there will be hope.

Hope for a brighter and sunnier tomorrow,
A time when I’ll not be so full of sorrow.
How will I manage? I really don’t know.
I suppose one day at a time, is the best way to go.


T.