Metamorphosis

A little Child, new to the land,
Came to meet dad, far away.
Taken from home, she is trusting and hopeful
Caring and loving, wanting someone to know she is there.
But she is only a child and, small and insignificant, so
Like the caterpillar in its cocoon.

In my family, I learned to be afraid.
Coarse words and actions not nice to see.
A first secret to keep inside of me.
So, I continued to hide deeper into my
Protective shell feeling different,
Unattractive and used.

Two big secrets converged for me, followed
By panic attacks and depression, you see.
No one to turn to, no one at all.
I’m full of pain, anger and despair.
I feel like I’m drowning in there.
Help me! Stop the pain! Kill the pain! KILL ME!
No! Wait! What about my family?
No! Kill the pain! Take the pills! Kill me!
No! Stop, stop! What about your family?

Help me someone to break out of this shell!
It’s too tight and confining, I can tell.
Help me to find some sense of release
From keeping these secrets all to myself.
A wonderful lady came to my aid and now, I’m learning
To forgive that little girl.
She helped me to see
All the beauty and strength inside of me.

Thank you my friend for your patience and care
For without you, I would not be here.
I can never express how truly grateful I feel
About our time working through all my problems and fears.
It can also happen to you.
Time is a healer and hope is there too.
Courage is needed to block the despair
But when you are done, all is worthwhile;
So keep up your spirit while you try.


M.