Self Forgiveness

The anger builds within me
Sneaking and stealing life
The fear of joining in the real world
The failure of being a mother and a friend

I am angry for not realizing how
Wonderful I am
I know I am capable but I don’t
Externalize it

I am angry for being comfortable in solitude,
For being afraid to extend myself to others,
To embrace friendships.

I am angry that health issues slow me down and
Afraid that I use it as an excuse to stay alone, be inactive.

Although I portray independence
I am afraid to be alone
I am afraid to love and be loved
I don’t know how.
I am growing and trying, but reality
Is terrifying and I’m angry
I allow it to consume me.
I choose to be free, I am angry I’m not.

Sharon Jones-