Association

For Months I do not know how to shape my square.
For Many More Months I do not know what to write in this poem.

I sit and stare,
and stare,
n u m b
and feel
and STARE
(over the years I’ve cried myself out)

Associate not Disassociate
I remind myself, gently,
with a hug.
The process of plastering my hand
Disassociation because of Association with
Pain, Stuck, No place to Run (literally),
Locked in, Memories locked in me,
Locked in my body and my soul,
Releasing Scar by Scar, Cast by Cast,
Healing by Healing, Pain by Pain
Association.
Association with
For Minutes, Seconds to some TERROR.
Invasion, pain, tears, blood,
hideous crimes against a trusting child.
But this is not the source
of the seemingly endless confusion and pain.
The source is
For Minutes, the shame
For Months, the lack of support
For Years, the disbelief
For Decades, the oppression
For Centuries, the cruelty of children everywhere.

Today, it is your time to Associate
with this pain and healing.
End the pain and confusion.
As survivors, we ask that you stop Disassociating.
Survivors welcome you
so that all our healing hearts can connect,
can Associate, and live
in supporting peace of one another.


SMDR