Forever

Forever, within the pain resides.
Forever, the child will go missing.
In my bones, my muscles, shame is engraved.
Fear breaths in each cell.

Happy family broke trust; priest, uncle used me.
Missing teenage growth, joy, healthy relationships
Replaced by absence of boundaries,
By fear, fear to be used again.
Powerless, victim of each predator
Watching for an easy meal.

Cut-off from the world, friends, real friends -
I don’t know what that means.
Within me, obsession, cloudy perceptions,
Search for help…
To be abused again.

Weak I search to get out of there.
Hope! Where?
When I taught I had it all
And it suddenly disappeared
Under my feet dragging me
In this horror tunnel underground-

A reaching hand remains.


Francois Crepeau